Sonika & Mike's Wedding

Until today I'd never been to a Sikh wedding -- and since I only have one Sikh friend, I figure this is also my last. I can also say that today will be the first time that I eat Indian food for breakfast, lunch & dinner (on the same day). I didn't get nearly as many pictures of all of the events as I wanted because I was too busy soaking in the culture. Here are some of the pictures that I did get, with descriptions of what was going on. I really enjoyed this chance to experience something new.

Sonika's fiance, Michael Dukes

The arrival of the groom is the big event in a Sikh wedding - not the arrival of the bride. Mike rode to the temple (from the lower parking lot, that is) on a horse, with an African band drumming in front of him, and all of his family and friends following. He wore a tinsel veil, which he said made it almost impossible to see anything! Once he arrived at the entrance to the temple, the bride's family and friends were waiting. The parents exchanged flower garlands (and the dads exchanged big bear hugs!) and welcomed each other and the priest said a prayer. After the prayer and welcome, breakfast was served. We had Indian appetizers and some American breakfast fare (provided by the groom's family - in case you couldn't tell from the above picture -- they're not Indian). When Sonika arrived, the car that brought her stayed in the back of the parking lot, since she couldn't get out until Mike went into the temple.

Sonika's arrival - not quite the pomp and circumstance that Mike got!

After breakfast, we all went into the temple. We had to remove our shoes, and men and women sat on opposite sides of the temple on the floor - to symbolize the equality of everyone. Although we'd arrived around 9:30am to watch Mike arrive on the horse, I don't think we went into the temple until about 10:45 or so. Also, women had to wear scarves over their heads and the men had to wear head coverings too. Most Sikh men wear turbans, so they had it "covered" while the rest of the men used red bandannas made by Mike's mom. (I totally did not get a picture of Jon wearing his, and SO wanted to!) Sonika's invitation included all of the temple "rules" so we would be prepared....and she also graciously responded to 1/2 dozen e-mail questions that I asked her about what to wear, etc. When we walked into the temple, we formed a line to the front where the altar was located and had to kneel in front of the Sikh scriptures and put our foreheads to the floor. We then took our seats and waited for everything to begin.

Sikh altar & scriptures

Mike was already sitting up front with the men, and when the ceremony started he moved to the center. He faced forward to the scriptures and Sonika was escorted in by her sisters. The priest and two other men sang Sikh hymns with drums and two instruments (I have no idea what they were). Since Sonika was marrying a non-Sikh (also known as "the white guy"), the priest was really good about explaining a little about their religion and why they did certain things and what everything meant. The hymns were translated to English on a projection screen and included phonetic spellings at the bottom for those who wanted to sing along. After they sang a few hymns, they opened the scriptures and a few passages were read.

Sonika & Mike walking around the holy scriptures

Sonika's dad took Mike's scarf and put one end in each of their hands. Four different scripture verses were read and after each one Sonika and Mike would circle the scripture book, with Mike leading and Sonika following. On the fourth time around, they were married. Afterwards, they exchanged rings, but no one could see it (and I think they did that really quickly!). The goal was to be married prior to noon, as is tradition for good luck. If it wasn't noon, it was just a minute or two afterwards. In the picture above, Mike is holding a sword. Sonika's dad gave it to Mike during the breakfast and told him that he was to use it to protect Sonika. At the end of the ceremony they gave out the sacrament -- we were told in advance that it was made of flour, sugar, butter and water. It was a warm doughy substance. Different, but not bad. Once the sacrament was over and a final hymn was sung, the scriptures were removed from the main part of the temple and "put to bed". I'm sure there is a better description for what happens, but they were wrapped up on cloth and then carried (by Mike, on his head) to his back room that had a bed with a canopy and the scriptures were tucked into the bed and then the back area was closed up again.

Michael Edward Dukes & Navkiranjit Kaur Gill
Their wedding clothes were so beautiful!!!

Following the ceremony (and lots of hugs from family and friends), lunch was served in the temple. They rolled out these plastic sheets and formed four "tables" in the temple. We all sat on the floor on the edge of the plastic where styrofoam plates and silverware were laid out and people came up and down the middle of the plastic with big "buckets" and ladles. They spooned out Indian food (and passed out naan (bread) and water) for lunch. The food was delicious, but Jon and I were sure we knew why Sonika had told us that most of the Indian people would wear different outfits to the wedding and reception -- how in the world do you sit cross-legged on the floor and eat Indian food (very "saucy" food for those who aren't familiar) using your hands and naan and not spill some on your clothes?! Then, we looked around and realized that the "regulars" were quite adept at getting the food to their mouths without a spill - we were the only ones having the problems. After 2+ hours of sitting on the floor, Jon did a bit of stretching on the way to the car -- he told me he was amazed at how the older people sat for so long and didn't seem uncomfortable -- his back and knees were sore.

I really enjoyed my experience at Sonika's wedding and was glad that she put so much time and effort into describing the ceremony and what everything meant (her programs were 6 pages long - at least!). It certainly made it more meaningful. Her parents and family friends also went out of their way to make the guests feel welcome. After everything was over, Sonika asked Jon if the wedding was short enough for him -- since she knows how he is the fan of the 15-20 minute wedding....it certainly wasn't that short, but there was a lot of symbolism and culture in the longer ceremony. I'm really glad we were able to be there to celebrate with them, especially since they have been together for a really long time and weren't sure that mixing cultures was going to work. I'm so happy that their families have been understanding and supportive and know that Sonika and Mike feel so blessed to be able to have this celebration surrounded by family and friends.