Sonika's Mendhi

One of my college roommates, Sonika, is getting married this weekend. I was invited to her Mendhi last night, which is a party for the bride's family and friends where the bride gets the henna applied to her hands and feet. Henna is a plant root that is ground up into a paste and it is applied in intricate patterns on your hands and feet. When it dries, you wipe off the henna and a stain is left on your skin that lasts for a few weeks. Jon wasn't so interested in coming, so Danila, my sister-in-law, came with me. Fortunately, she'd met Sonika and her fiance once before, so she was happy to tag along.

This party was unlike anything I'd ever attended before. When we arrived at 7pm, Sonika had already been having her henna applied for about an hour. Around 8pm or so Indian appetizers were served. But, there was so much food that I assumed that it was dinner! I had a plate of food and figured that "finger foods" were what they did at this type of party because it filled me up. After the appetizers were a series of traditional events - her sisters dancing (described below), folk singing (described below), and the "fire dance" (I don't know what else to call it, so sorry if my term is offensive to anyone!).

The "fire dance" was really cool. Basically, there are two turbans that the women wear on their heads with a tray of lighted candles on top. I didn't get any pictures because I was on the other side of the room from my camera, but Sonika's mom explained to me that in Punjab (where her family is from), they "announce" the upcoming wedding by walking in the streets in the evening with the candles to invite people to come out an enjoy the celebration because people will celebrate an upcoming wedding with parties and other events for about a week before the actual wedding. It was so neat -- the women danced and shared the lighted turbans with others and we had a great time. It was used to get everyone up on the dance floor. We danced for hours!

Following the dancing, around 10pm, dinner was served. Even thought I was still a little full from the appetizers, I wasn't about to turn down delicious Indian food! The party went on until around midnight. What was amazing about this was that it was a Thursday night. Everyone had to get up and go to work the next day!

Sonika & Julie

(hard to believe it's been 9 years since graduation)

Sonika getting her henna appliedSonika's hand

She had both hands, both sides, and her feet done.

It took three hours. Sonika's sisters, Roop (on the left) and Inderjit (on the right), hosted the party.

One of the many traditions at the party was the bride's sisters doing a dance for her. Inderjit and Roop had prepared a traditional Indian dance that they performed.

Following the sister's dance, most of the women in attendance got on the floor in front of Sonika and started signing folk songs while beating a drum. Mike's (her fiance) mom joined in the fun and clapped along, even though we had no idea what anyone was singing. After they finished, Sonika's mom told Danila and I that they were folk songs that they women just make up as they go, but they usually have to do with the bride, the upcoming wedding, and the bride's relationship with her mother-in-law. For example, a number of the verses had to do with the topic of "he used to be yours, but now he belongs to her"....Once everyone was up on the dance floor, Sonika's dad really got things going. Dr. Gill is such a fun guy. He apparently LOVES to dance and was the life of the party. Danila, Sonika, and me

Danila and I both got henna on our hands at Sonika & her mother's urging. It took us a while to get it done because we were "too polite" according to Sonika with waiting in line. Numerous women at the party had their hands done and would hop in the chairs as soon as someone got up, while we were a little unsure of how to move in - we were waiting to be invited to take a seat, but that's not quite how it works....I was the last person done, around 11:30pm.

Close-up of our hands.

Full-length shot of Sonika's beautiful outfit.

Thanks so much to Sonika and her parents for including us in this super-fun party and event. Danila and I both had such a good time and felt so welcomed by everyone. When we were dancing, family friends ("aunties" and "uncles") taught us how to dance. At other times they would check in to make sure we understood what was going on, if we were having a good time, and if we liked the food. We felt like part of the family!